is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
