I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize