I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
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