at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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