I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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