Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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