sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize