Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
