Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
