My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i just had sex bonerless
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
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