Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
