your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
