"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize