So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
