Fine. I'll sleep in my office
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
