i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
