so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
