Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize