i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize