so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
