why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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