Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled if crying burns calories
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize