Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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