somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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