This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Randomize
