I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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