that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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