Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
