I'm drive I can fine osifer
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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