So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
