Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Farmville is her only friend.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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