you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
