Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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