Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
