We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize