i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
