i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
