It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He? As in you personified your dick?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
