It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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