Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
