I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
porn star boner night. come get it.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
