I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
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I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
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