so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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