Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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