vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
