So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
