I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize