Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
