Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
