The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
high people should be assigned attendants
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
