Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
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Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
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Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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