There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
