its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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