I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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