i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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