I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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