I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
